Det Mörka Ljuset

In Det Mörka Ljuset the audience steps into Lars Lerin's inner world of light and darkness, solitude and belonging, longing and homecoming. A journey from a childhood in Värmland to the light of Lofoten and onwards into the world. Through painting, life-defining encounters, personal archive material, music and his own narrating voice, a landscape emerges where memories, dreams and reality flow together.

The performance begins in childhood, the 1950s in the Värmland countryside, where the idyll and its safety gradually break as Lars becomes aware that he does not match what those around him expect a boy to be. Instead of playing hockey and football he puts on a dress and dreams of being a girl. His parents' worry over his difference breeds shame and forces him to play a part in order to be accepted. The struggle between being who he is and who he believes he must be will follow him through life.

When the world feels foreign, making things becomes a place where he can exist without having to define himself. Lars himself describes how art most likely saved his life. Through shame, addiction, love, loss and loneliness. How a life of adapting can blur the line between the person you are and the roles you play. He speaks of the need to disguise himself, to dress up and be someone else. What began as a strategy for survival grows into a wider search for liberation.